Blogger Personality Disorders

Every few months, the blog world and the real world collide. The past week has been one of them. While we DO have the right to say whatever we want, we DON'T always make sense.

"Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar."
- Edward R. Murrow

Blogging, like most things on the web, is so darned convenient. It's easy, you can be anonymous; in fact, you can be whoever you want. Not only can you make your own rules, you can live out your wildest fantasies. So at some point, all of us become somebody we aren't. I looked at some of my old posts and I wonder, "Aren't we all a little schizophrenic?" I look at my own posts; posts and comments on other blogs and I see a number of personalities surface. The convenience of not having to physically face someone or tackle reality makes us armchair experts on everything and turns even the most mild-mannered Dr. Jekyll into a Mr.Hyde in a few keystrokes.

The Born-Again Blogger
Who doesn't believe in reincarnation? Larger-than-life personae are constantly being created and reinvented in the blogworld in bigger and better versions.

The Cerebral Cerberus
These are the people for whom blogging has less to do with exploration of ideas and civilized debate but more to do with attacking other people, often without provocation.

The Cowardly Custard
Shares all the characteristics of the above and invariably fails to leave an address or name behind. Occasionally hides behind some alias. Tends to be more inclined towards rude behaviour.

Grammar, Damn Her!
Everyone makes the occasional typo, grammatical error and usage error. But this lot lives without shame. They seem to be literally throwing themselves at the keyboard with scant regard for the gentle reader who can't help but cry out,

Wrote yet another guy who stings like a bee,
What keys get hit, his eyes can't see.
You mumble man mumble, I fumble man fumble


Dear Diary Blogger
Very few of them around that I know of.
"Today, was a Sunday ..." As Holden would say, "Spare us the David Copperfield crap!"

The Eve-Pleaser
These guys seem to be trying their luck with every female blogger they can('t) lay their hands on by leaving little puppy-notes. (The Orkut variety is decidedly more more pathetic!)

The Crapal Tunnel Syndrome
While these chaps don't seem to suffer from CTS, you can get one by simply having to scroll reams of screens. Reading such posts is like entering a deep, dark tunnel with only a faint hope of light at the end.

The Hyper-Linker
Some deserve 'The Tim Berners-Lee Lifetime Achievement Award' for creating blogs that contain only links. No content, no explanation, just links.

The CutPaste Copycat
This one is like the above, but saves you the trouble of reaching for your mouse. The 'benign' type acknowledges the "stealing" and the 'thief' type seems to be more interested in the AdSense revenue.

The Papal Bull
Cannot help pontificating (Like this post!). Mostly all bull.

Common diseases and ailments:

Verbal Exhibitionisist: They feel morally compelled to follow the adage of "Use it or lose it!" and you are in turn impelled to look up every fourth word in order to stop feeling like a dummy. Those Word-a-Day calendars!

E(pi)-llipses
The kinds who cannot supress the desire to hold the flow of ... Kindly use a .

Bloggorhoea: Too many posts, all full of **it!

Blogstipation: Infrequent and irregular blogs that tend to be painfully produced.

15 comments:

Paddy said...

Nice Taxonomy. I seem to belong to all the categories at once :)

Ashutosh said...

Hilarious (especially the limerick)! I too plead guilty to metamorphosing into some of these categories once in a while.
The ones which especially irritate me are the Custards, Cerebruses, and Damn Hers, and I make every effort not to fall into one of these myself.

Hirak said...

We are a bunch of schizos
*
The limerick is indebted to 'The Greatest'

The_Girl_From_Ipanema said...

what about the paranoid blogger? this one wants to hide his identity (yeah, like there is such a thing) and hence scours his statcounter every few minutes for signs of being discovered.

i like this classification, especially the grammatically challenged.

Kingsley said...

I think I have several of these disorder, including the one (which you missed) in which you aren't satisfied with just one. I need a therapist!

Rohini said...

Nice!

Anonymous said...

which category do you fit?

Hirak said...

Girl, Kingsley: Thanks for the suggestions. Shall use them in the next edition of B(l)ogus Linnaeus.
* *
Anon: Hmm! My category... It's a secret like your name. :) I think I fit in quite a few of them.

Paavani said...

The bloggers who goes on number of blog break. And return back with big bang. The people who posts mostly pictures- thanks to gettyimages, corbis. And fully 24X7 news channel blog.
BTW awesome points. We all are ‘normal’ blogger, with some or other disease.

Supremus said...

I belong to all, and none of them hehehe!

S

sunshine said...

great observations!

kinda resent 'the cowardly custard' tho... being rude isn't the intention.. sometimes family and certain 'friends' can create havoc...

don't understand the 'hyper-linker' blogger.. if there's nuthing to say.. why blog?

Swapna said...

Nice , good one. Been a bunch of these ... :)

Happy-Go-Lucky said...

Cool stuff..
And that makes me suffering from Blogstipation. Yuckkkk.

Sumedha said...

I just recovered from one of the afore-mentioned ailments :)

GuNs said...

I didnt know which of those I fit into. LOL, you tell me !

Anyhow, I was going through some older posts and saw your comment on my post on the trek to Harishchandragad. You mentioned some book that your dad wrote. Which book is it? Is your dad a pro (if there is one) mountaineer?

Do keep visiting my blog when you get time.

-PeAcE
--WiTh
---GuNs