New Blog
Since once is never enough, I have created a new blog called
Hail!Helicon- A Writer's Blog. It is a group blog, so all are welcome to join.
Just send me a mail(Achilles AT GMAIL)

Walmart's Bed Spreads, Shams and other scams - Part I

Walmart's Bed Spreads, Shams and other scams - Part I
For the past month I have been fighting a losing battle in trying to use a Full size bedsheet on a Queen size mattress. I was spending a good amount of time in the morning adjusting the sheets so that it does not look ...nevermind..I decided not to be so cheap and get the correct size. Ironically, after deciding not to cheap like many other people out there I headed for the monster from Bentonville, Arkansas. After finding parking, itself a big battle I reached Walmart. Saturday mornings at Walmart are like a Family Picnic where everybody seems to be invited. A BBQ grill outside would make the picture more complete.
I was caught in the Saturday morning rush-hour aisle traffic. People admonished the cart speeders, some cast hurt looks at those with these automated carts, while others traded business cards upon cart crashes and filled insurance claims. In short, it was crazy! After navigating through the few backups and not being tempted by the 20 zillion, '$2.99 only Walmart Unbeatable Prices', I reached the Bed and Bath section. Walmart does not offer much to trying-to-be-classy-at-a-low-price comsumer. The three variables of price, color and size seemed to be mutually exclusive. Then from the corner of my eye, I spied this package that would match the color scheme. So I loaded up my cart with my lone package, with a smug smile of being the savvy consumer resisting the false temptation(oxymoron?) of wanting to fill the whole damn cart till things fell out. I also ignored the 'look-at-him' dirty looks from the other cheapster citizens of the Free World who had succumbed to the temptation of buying the 20 zillion, '$2.99 only Walmart Unbeatable Prices' and had forced another backup, now at counter. For some time I wondered why they don't have these quick checkout counters? Maybe those with '15 items or less' (a grammatically incorrect sign) are strange beasts at Walmarts.

Travels and its associated travails

Travels and its associated travails
Of late I have been out every weekend making trips to places where 'I' haven't gone before. These are works in progress. They shall be up soon.

Coming up:
How I almost got married, drowned, fell in love with LOVE and Mr. Parikh Goes to Washington

End Of the Real Estate Boom

End Of the Real Estate Boom
New York
After weeks of speculation the bubble has finally burst. Gmail gave each and every user 3 fresh invites. Bullish early gmail users who were waiting for the right time to sell their piece of internet real estate might have just waited too long. Hundreds of selfish speculators now find themselves unlikely to be offered

A woman's love and heart
:)Karma
Eternal gratitude
An Indian Head Massage
Phish + Dead CDs
20$ in cash from Paypal
Free Web Hosting

anymore. These bizzare items were being offered in exchange on on Gmail Swap. The creator of this site an employed nerd from Canada might not find what he really wanted by starting the site - A job!
As property prices for the elusive gmail address crashed leaving many disgusted with their bad timing. People who were being laughed at and made subject of lewd jokes about 'peaking early' are now laughing their way to the Credit Union to deposit their 15$ cheques. Meanwhile old-timers reminisce about the old days (two months ago) when Gmail was service only open to the digital e-lite. At the Gmail Club, while signs 'For Internet Cognoscenti, Bloggers & Nerds Only: Two Finger Typists And Dogs Not Allowed' were being taken down an old-timer talks about the days of ' Separate but Equal Email Access'.
"It was great then, people looked at you with awe that you had a Gmail id. Many rued the fact that they did not blog or blogged at some other loser site. I guess I was greedy and missed all the lucrative offers of massages, money, eternal love and now its all over. In Grade I the music teacher told me I wont make a musician with my poor timing. It extends to other things as well." While some lamented about missed offers, the other e-lite talked about the parvenus who would eventually clog the service up. Some accused Google of 'selling out' and going commercial.
Meanwhile Yahoo, an old world egalitarian email provider increased it email quota from the pitiful 10Mb to 100Mb. People eagerly await what the Redmond monster will do next.

Howlers from emails

Howlers from emails
Culled from a recent email:

Do you know of any descent colleges?
Does it matter? You are going to descend anyways, buddy.

..right now I am feeling up forms,
Please don't tell me what/who you are feeling up next.

Bill puts limit on ads in e-mail / State Senate action privacy concerns over Google service

Bill puts limit on ads in e-mail / State Senate action privacy concerns
Bill puts limit on ads in e-mail / State Senate action privacy concerns over Google service

In Search of a Perfect Dinner

In Search of a Perfect Dinner
Of late, since I moved to Cleveland, I have been cooking a lot. Today I decided to make(rather have) a classy meal. Got some Swiss fondue, Chianti wine and crusty French bread.
Went home, put music for the ambience and started heating the fondue. Its a criminal offence not to have good music with good food. Then I started looking frantically for the corkscrew. "Gotta get the wine out before the fondue boils over."
Everthing was in place. The fondue pot, the wine, the music and the bread. Yet it was not at all the fun that I had first imagined. Eating alone and definitely drinking alone are not that fun whatever the menu. I ate much too quickly and choked on the wine while gulping it down.
Perfect dinner = Perfect company

gmail swap

Google update
Whatever would come up next on the net?
gmail swap. Anybody wanting to donate to the cause. As usual there is some nut who wants an opportunity for a breast exam.
What would you want in return for swapping the gmail account?
Me?
A small island in the tropics
A free trip round the world
Free dinners for a whole year

Dr. Seuss' Art

Dr. Seuss' Art
I was walking with friends, who had come down to Cleveland, through the Italian village and I noticed this art gallery tucked away in a corner. 'Dick Kleinman Art'. Through the window I saw what I had seen in a another art gallery in Monterey.

I stepped in and looked around at the amazing art of Dr. Seuss.

Loved the title Self-Portrait As A Young Man Shaving. The titles are full of puns, literary and musical allusions. eg:Venetian Cat singing Oh Solo Meow. He parodies the masters, the Cubists, Impressionists, and yet creates what is still all Seuss.
Later I learned that this gallery was the original gallery where the exhibition was first displayed. Dick told me a number of anecdotes about Seuss. Of how difficult Dr. Seuss found it to sell his art (at the price of 14$). Seuss he told me was a manic depressive. It is interesting that before all modern drugs, Seuss treated himself, by painting. Healing and science, in general are simpler than we sometimes make them out to be.

New Interface
I like the new interface of Blogger. Especially the Dashboard concept. I have now been through two major revisions of blogger.com and each time it gets better and better.
I am glad about the fact that they have made it more zippier and snazzier, not at the expense of keeping it still simple. I really like the idea of the Post Page. This reminds me to start a blog-roll. Also it will be easy now to have 'The Best of the blog'
Though I kinda of miss seeing the old post below the edit window. So now you cannot actually see the posts on the same page. Will have to use it a bit more to see if this new feature is a better idea.
The Preview link is an awesome addition. Also it seems to load much quicker than having to wait(Hope this is not just an artifact of my current machine). Another good thing is that an incorrect tag will not propagate through.

Off the Interstate
Today I went off the great I-80/90 taking a wrong exit,thanks to some road construction that got me confused. I was in no particular hurry and also I was armed with lethal arsenal of AAA maps; so I did not panic. I have come to grief often and so have many who have taken a Mapquest prinout of directions. Its great if you follow it, but if you take a wrong exit or miss one, you are lost, lost as a babe in the woods.
I am great fan of the Interstates, but they are boring after a while. Extremely soporific to say the least. The smaller highway that I found myself on was so different. It passed by houses of people working in their yards, children playing basketball. I had to stop for a goods train to pass. I saw self-styled 'historic' towns, of quaint antique shops and local restaurants. There was so much happening around that I was not watching the road anymore.
I was about 10 miles away from the US 23 Interstate before my detour ended and I saw a local restaurant serving ice-cream. I stopped. It was about 8pm and the sun was setting in the horizon, as I stepped in this homely place run by Scott. For a few moments I got this feeling of being some cowboy passing through this town. How brown guys stopped by this place in shorts, a straw hat and a half sleeved leather hunting jacket? Yet I felt like home. Hero served me the stuffed potatoes and French fried mushrooms. I saw a kid hug a wooden statue on his way out. I wondered if I had stayed on the Interstate I would have probably eaten at a McDonalds, or a Arby's or one of their junk ilk.
The route that I took was not a scenic one or even the road less travelled. It was just different and it was worth it. We miss so much more by flying on the interstates, skirting around the small towns and places to where we want to go. Wonder if it is always worth it? A read a sign in some deli which said, "Don't forget to stop and smell the flowers." It was a bit like that.

Google update
Interesting story on how to price Google."Count the number of pigeon droppings":
See
Full Story:To Derive Bid, Use Dow + Pi Your Age (washingtonpost.com) from where I picked this piece of doggerel,
"Hooray, hooray for the first of May
The EU was set to enlarge yesterday.
They tried to announce it by blowing their bugle,
But the markets ignored them, going ga-ga over Google."

A Graduate
Yesterday I wore the mortarboard and the red tassel, the black cloak and the orange College of Engineering sash and graduated with one of the two degrees in progress, in the magnificent Hill Auditorium. I have added two letters to my name. Mary Sue Coleman, the president of the University of Michigan gave an excellent speech welcoming us to the 'community of scholars'. I was not prepared for such honour. I was there in my sneakers, wearing a T-shirt banking on the fact that the cloak would mask my 'underdressing for the occasion'. It did to quite an extent, except that I required a safety pin to tie one of those things which I don't the name of. In the men's locker room your chances of finding a safety pin are equivalent to the chances of finding WMD in Iraq. Thanks to a shining damsel who gallantly produced a safety pin and I was then able to secure the damn thing. Mary Sue Coleman quoted Robert Henlein,
"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects" (Lazarus Long, Time Enough For Love). She added, " .. and graduate students."

Typo or genuine error?
Someone sent this mail and I wonder if the misuse was intentional.

Would anyone like to purchase a fancy, corner computer desk?
The desk is practically in brand new condition.

I am selling it for $90.00 obo.

While you will save only around $15.00, you will also save the three hours
of construction time and a few vertebrates you may have lost trying to
lift the desk out of your trunk.

You may come by and see it if you like. Please call me at 604-1905 to
arrange a time. It has to either be sold or moved by Sunday night...so
call now!

(Why do I get the sad feeling that I could be a writer for the Home
Shopping Network???)

Thanks,

Danny (S-17)

Cartophile Heaven
A few days ago a became a proud member of the AAA not AA (not yet atleast :D). This had much less to do with that I now have a car but more to do with their map policy. As a member of the Automobile Association of America you are entitled to unlimited number of maps of cities, states, regions of North America. It was terribly hard to resist the temptation of telling the lady at the counter, "I want every map you have." I just love reading maps.
A map helps quantify the distance travelled. It gives each place a frame of reference. A trip from Ann Arbor to Chicago is not just that. It becomes a trip through all these places, Jackson, Battlecreek, Kalamazoo, Michigan City, Gary. I can see myself as a blip on the map moving at 75 miles/hr across the interstate.
That the sensible reason. The other reason is the way maps are folded. It is quite an interesting problem on how to best fold a large piece of paper. The map fold is the most efficient. Why?
For a person with an insatiable Wanderlust, the map is your scoreboard. Looking at one you can say, "Been there done that".